Monday, June 9

The Life of a Snorer's Wife

Over this last week after nearly 25 years of living with a snorer I finally snapped. I wish I hadn't, and that I could have just let it settle down after he'd had such a bad cold, but two weeks of no sleep even though I was on pain meds finally got to me.
Now when I say I live with a snorer, I don't mean the gentle rhythmic sound of heavy breathing, or for that matter any rhythm at all. That is one of the main problems, I grew up listening to my sister (severe asthmatic) and dad in the next room snoring away, but the sound they made is not the sound I have listened to since leaving home. It has not been infrequent for family members sitting in a room on another level of the house to be able to hear my DH snoring. Recently when spending the night at a friends house in the country Kristianne (eldest daughter 22) slept in a room with her father and I and complained bitterly the next morning that she didn't sleep all night. She said she didn't know how I did it.
One of the difficulties with DH's snoring, apart from the fact that's it's very loud, is that there is no rhythm, it is stop and start, he constantly stops breathing (sleep apnea). Sometimes I wait for him to breath and then nudge him so he'll take a breath. He can go from what can only be described as loud snorting and to a snuffly sound.
By Friday I didn't know how much more I could take so I went to the chemist to buy the nasal strips that go across the nose (he used them a few months ago with limited success) but they have been so popular that six chemists later and still no strips. So I walked into a chemist and said to the nice man (who thought I was crazy) if you don't give me something to help my husbands snoring I am going to use a pillow, he gave me that sympathetic look that said he wasn't sure if he should feel sorry for me and be frightened of me. So I purchased a different product called Quiet Nites, well not a such a quiet night, the first night I don't think I noticed a difference but last night after about 30 minutes of heavy snoring he did quieten down. I also noticed that I didn't wake up as much as I usually do, probably also a sign that he wasn't loud.
So, is this something you should know about your partner before you marry them? I would have said 'no problem', I grew up with a snorers I can handle it. Hmmm, not like this!!!! Several friends have asked in the last couple of days why I don't make him sleep in another room or on the couch. The answer is simple, I love my kids and would have never slept with him if I were to do that. I also hate sleeping without him, he gives great cuddles and keeps me so warm.
I woke up this morning at 6am after a nightmare, I was cold and lonely (he go up at 4.30am), I went looking for him and he said he'd gotten up so that I could have undisturbed sleep. I don't want him to feel bad for this and I know that he is right now. I know that it's not his fault and that he can't help it.
So what are we going to do? I think I'll have a chat to my doctor next time I go and see if there is anything more we can do. Until then, there's Restavit!

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