Hugs

They mean so much and make you feel so much better. Today I drove all the way to Toowoomba just to get and give one of those hugs. I spent the day with my BF and her Mum, Dad, sister and her boys. It was nice to be with them but so sad to see the pain they are all going through. Her Mum really doesn't look terminally ill and it is just so hard to comprehend that she won't be here soon. I can't even imagine what it must be like for her beautiful daughters to try and deal with it all. They are a close family and it reminded me of how close I felt to my family when Dad died. It was really hard to say goodbye to the family. When I said goodbye to her Dad he gave me a big hug and said thanks for looking after my daughter and then he got choked up. I felt so helpless, nothing I do will be enough, I want to move heaven and earth to save them from this pain. They are going to miss the loving matriarch of their family so much, she is a strong and at times dominating woman, but she loves them all so much. I could see it in her eyes when she said good bye to one daughter and then the other, while I looked on. She adores her girls!

It was also really hard to say goodbye to my BF, felt like I was abandoning her when she needed me, we are such a strong support to each other through the highs and lows of our lives. But I realise now that it's OK to go up and visit and that it is not an intrusion on their family but rather I felt as though I was embraced into their inner sanctum for just a second.

Both the boys came back home with me and one will go back there tomorrow after he plays soccer and I will take the other one back on Sunday which is great because then I get to go back for another visit. Tomorrow I will try and get Vanilla Slices made for them because that is one of their favourite comfort foods.

Well I am heading off early tonight, that's the plan anyway, with the new Jodi Picoult, Change of Heart. I am only up to page 14 and already I love it. She is such a brilliant author.