It's Not Goodbye, It's See You Later

Today it is 8 months since my Dad died (yes I'm still counting in months). It is still so hard to believe, hard to believe he's gone, hard to believe it's been so long, hard to believe my kids have no Poppy/Grandad. I really miss the sense of family that he bought to us all. It's gone now and somehow it just doesn't seem complete anymore.

I just wasn't ready for you to leave us. Maybe I would never have been ready, but at least if you'd been old I would have been more prepared, 61 is too young to die. You won't be here for your first Grandchilds wedding, do you know how hard that will be? I remember you on my wedding day and how proud you were and I know that you would have been just as proud on her wedding day. I know that you will be there but I wish I could have seen your face when she walks down the isle with her Dad. When I turned around after I'd just been married and I came to kiss you, you were crying, I only ever saw you cry a couple of times in my whole life. I was amazed by your expression of emotion. You made me cry, up until then I'd held it together. I was so happy to make you so proud! Not a day goes by that I don't think of you Dad, and talk to you. Sometimes I think I even hear you answer me. Love Always Alaine (you first born daughter)