Sunday, December 2

Leaving On A Jet Plane

My darling daughter is on a plane on her way to New Zealand and all she left me where cup cakes. Yummy pink fluffy white cloud cup cakes! Isn't she sweet. She always knows just what I need. As I waved my last goodbye and tried hard to hold back to tears until I got to my car she sent me a text message that said 'I love you Mum'. That was all it took for me to dissolve into a flood of tears, mostly because at that moment in time she knew that I needed to hear them. Those words mean so much!
One of the terrible sides of grief, well for me at least, is that I have this overwhelming fear of more loss. So the idea of my daughter flying over the ocean is not exactly a pleasant experience. Yes, I know that she will be fine and this fear is all irrational, but it still exists and my pretending it doesn't is not helpful. When your children leave you, no matter how old they are, your heart goes with them. You'd think as they get older that it would be easier, but it really isn't. Maybe when they move out of home and you're used to not interacting with them everyday it will be easier. I'm just so used to her being around! We did joke about Dad going to New Zealand with her, he's never been so we thought he'd enjoy it. Have a safe journey my love and I hope you find some NZ magic!

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