Some weeks are just worse than others! This week was horrible and the pressure of it all exploded in my head with a terrible migraine. Thanks to the help of a friend, I couldn't live without, I resolved my family issues. Unfortunately it got ugly in a public place before it was sorted, but in times like these we can be grateful that it was resolved at all.
This is just such an incredibly difficult time for a family, we have lost our father and our mother doesn't want to live without him. So what do you do, how do you help, do you just hope that eventually things will get better. I really don't know what to do to make any of this easier for anyone, not my sister or my mother. All I seem to do with Mum is make her worse, I always say the wrong thing no matter how hard I try. The thing is we always thought it would be easier if Dad died first because Mum would survive, we knew she'd grieve him but we could never have imagined that she would be this bad. She has absolutely no will to live at all. She does not see any point in living without him.
Me, I'd just like to wake up tomorrow morning and pretend that nothing happened and everything is the same as it was before. I wish my family could just me normal again, but it won't and the scariest thing is that it may never be. I just feel so powerless, I wish my Dad could just reach out to my Mum and make her feel better, I wish she could find a reason to go on living. How long will she be like this? I am so afraid that she will lose her mind and that things will get even worse than they already are. As much as I want her to get better I also want to set her free so that she can be with my father for eternity. Unfortunately our love isn't strong enough to keep her here so she is stuck in what must feel like purgatory, she's not in heaven but she isn't living either.
PS If there is anyone reading this blog with some experience in these matters and you have any advice to offer, please feel free to share in the comment section.
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