No Phone Calls from Dad

Today has been really hard! Dad would have rung Rory when he got home from work to wish him a happy birthday. Mum rang him nice and early and spoke to him. I don't know if he has thought about it today. I have had a pretty good week but today I seem to have hit a wall and I'm having a 'low' functioning day. This is not good because I have a lot to do. We are having Troy's 21st on Sunday and I have to get all the food today, I don't want to do it tomorrow because it's my birthday. Besides we need food for tonight and tomorrow! I got to the shopping centre this morning, found a park and sat in the car. It was just so busy that I couldn't go in. So I came home. Kristianne has taken the boys out so that Rory can spend some of his birthday money so I will have to go when she gets back. I just need to do this and I want to do it without crying at the shopping centre! But who am I kidding? Once I start it get's difficult to stop. I just rang Mum and she said she had a dream last night that Dad told her to tell me, that I was 'his girl'. She said I should think about a birthday memory I have with him, but I just can't seem to do it right now. All I can do is cry because my Dad won't ring me on my birthday and tell me he loves me.