I can honestly say that as weeks go this one has been horrible! It seems that since Dad died I have had many weeks like this and I often wonder if things will ever get back to normal and will life ever feel like clear sailing and blue skies again.
I have spent many hours this week crying, can't necessarily explain that, I don't completely understand why myself except that there is a lot going on. At times I felt that my sanity was perilously close to the edge. But there was a light, a beacon if you will, that drew me away from all the 'stuff' and took me to another place and time. It wrapped it's delicate fingers around me and promised that if I just stayed there with it, all would be well.
Last night I went with Ian and Kenzie to futsal, Ian had to coach three games and Kenzie had to play two. I took my phone that has a great MP3 player on it, plugged in my headphones, turned up the music load enough to drown out the soccer noise and opened my book 'Son of the Shadows' by Juliet Marillier. How I managed to listen to loud music, be completely absorbed in a book and not miss one of Kenzie's goals can only be described as amazing, but I did. Well by the third game, one of the Dad's I was sitting near just had to keep commenting on the game so I had to put my book away.
But during this time I escaped all that was happening in my life and joined the Irish folktales and mythology that I was reading about. I felt the highs and lows and every emotion as if it were my own and escaped into a world of beauty, fear and devastation. I felt the emotions of the characters wrap around me like a shawl and shut out all the emotions I was feeling, last night the main one being anger. This is why I read!
Nothing can take you away from your own life like the pages of a good book. Whether you are having a difficult time, you're sick or life is just going through one of it's mundane patches. It can enhance the feelings you have towards your partner, your children, it can remind you of how lucky you are, or it can take you to destinations you will never see without the eyes of the characters. I have travelled the world extensively and seen so many beautiful places in the pages of some wonderful books. I have personally also seen some beautiful places with my own eyes and for me the memories of the places I've seen IRL (in real life) and the places I've seen in books is the same imagery. No different! Isn't that amazing? Think about it, is it different in your memory? I am a visual, so for me reading a book is no different in my memory to watching a movie or standing on the beach (I also dream in colour). I sometimes think that when I'm old and forgetful I will be sure I've travelled the world and seen all the wonders of it. I still remember vividly the settings of Matthew Reilly's novel Temple, and Katherine Kerr's Deverry Series. If I close my eyes I can imagine standing there and smelling the forest/jungle, and feel the earth on my feet.
This is why I love to read. It's also why I can't read horror books, because it takes me to places and brings back memories I don't want to see or feel. So, am I a freak, or are you like this too? Think about it, remember the places you've seen IRL and books and see if the memory seems different.
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